Fullmetal Alchemist: Truth or Dare!
by SweetSirendipity
Summary: Submit your very own truths and dares to the Fullmetal Alchemist cast, and watch as SweetSirendipity and PatrickChanFan carry them out! Use your imagination! The more dares, the better!


**Hello, my pretties! This is a production brought to you by...SweetSirendipity and PatrickChanFan! *cue the applause* Now, this is a collab (for you peoplez that dont' know what that is, it's 'collaboration' ((DUH)) ). Okay, now...FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST TRUTH OR DARE! That's right, folks! YOU, the readers, get to submit any dares you like! And we, the authoresses, will bring them into this lovely crackfic. For now, we have Edward (calm down, fangirls!), Alphonse (isn't he adorable?), Roy (Blah!), and Winry (Automail FTW!). Now, Chan will like to say something: **

**Hi! Chan here! I like cheese. The end.**

**Back to moi! Chan, no more sugar for you.**

**Chan: EXPLOSIONS! AND MOOOOORE EXPLOSIONS!**

**Sirendipity: O.O...Er, and now, on with the show!**

**Chan: You mean the story! **

**Sirendipity: *scowls* SAME THING! **

* * *

><p>Once upon a dark basement, the entire cast (or at least the main characters) of Fullmetal Alchemist werre huddling together, shuddering, and, a few, screaming. Then, two girls, one light-haired and one dark-haired, emerged from the shadows. The light-haired one began.<p>

"Hi! I'm-OH, WOULD YOU ALL SHUT THE HELL UP?"

Those who were screaming were now quaking in fear. A certain blondie growled at the brunettes.

"Who the hell are you two?" He demanded, folding two red-coat-clad arms over his chest.

The dark-haired one grinned menacingly. "I'm Sirendipity. And this-" She gestured to the other girl, "is Chan. And Edward, I suggest you be kinder to us, if you value your sanity."

"Oh, yeah?" Edward sneered. "Whaddaya gonna do?"

Sirendipity squealed in glee. "I'm glad you asked." She whipped out a purple notebook and a pen, wrote something in it, and then snapped it shut.

All of a sudden, Ed's black leather pants turned into...a miniskirt! Complete with pink sequins and ruffles. And, for fun, Sirendipity made Roy, who had a very confuttled look on his face, make his way over to the horrified blonde alchemist with a glass of milk in his hand.

"Noooo!" Ed screamed. "Make the cow piss go away!"

Chan then whipped out a hot pink notebook and a pen, scribbled something inside, and made the milk disappear, and the skirt transform back into pants.

"Chan!" Sirendipity seethed, now that her hard work was gone. "You're such a softie! Why the hell did you do that?"

"I saw Al look horrified..." Chan struggled to hide her blushing cheeks.

Alphonse looked disturbed with a slight hint of happiness. "Ummmmmm..."

Chan then gave a very disturbed Al a big hug, as Sirendipity facepalmed over her friend's insta-crush.

"Oh, my God..." She groaned. Then, as Chan glomped Alphonse, Sirendipity grinned evilly. "Well...I GUESS THAT LEAVES ME TO TORTURE YOU ALL! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Chan stopped hugging Al for a second. "Me too!"

Sirendipity gave Chan a death glare for interrupting her amazing evil laugh, which Chan didn't see or pretended not to.

Al then spoke. "Umm...well, two things. One: What are we doing? And two: Can I leave?"

Sirendipity smiled and said, "Good questions. We are playing Dare or Dare. First, _we _come up with dares that you guys need to do. And in the other chapters, the sick, twisted minds of the Fullmetal Alchemist readers will come up with some."

Ed, with a terrified look on his face, demanded, "You mean there's more?"

Sirendipity had a grin on her face that reminded most of a homicidal person. "Indeed there is, Elric. Indeed."

Roy then pointed to the door."Uh, yeah, can I go now?"

"No." Sirendipity answered, busily writing.

"Oh, yeah?" Roy puffed his chest out and marched over to the door. "Who's gonna stop me?"

However, as soon as Roy touched the handle, his hand went through it. He tried again and, finding no success, punched the door. Then kicked it. He gritted his teeth. "What the hell..."

"No escaping, Mustang." Sirendipity smirked.

"I know!" Edward announced. "I'll _make _a door!" He rushed over to a wall, clapped his hands together, and slammed his palms on the wall. When nothing happened, he frowned and repeated the gesture. Again. And again. And again. And again.

"I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of-...sorry." Chan sang.

"What the hell?" Ed growled as he found no success, madly clapping and slamming.

"Elric, if you want to play Pattycake, go to Chan."

Ed looked the the chesnut-haired girl who looked back at him with a wide grin and happy vibes flowing out of her ears.

"I'll play with you, Brother." Al offered.

"Okay." Ed padded over to his younger brother, who was in his human form, and started to play the classic playground game. "Pattycake, pattycake..." He paused. "Wait, what are we doing?" He pointed an accusing finger to the busily writing Sirendipity. "It's all the fault of that sadist!"

Sirendipity looked up with an angelic look on her face, complete with a golden halo. "Who, me?"

"Yes, you, you stupid bitch!" He stomped over to the faux-angel. "I demand you to let us go!"

Sirendipity's eyes filled with mock tears. She sniffed. "Oh, Edward. What a cruel thing to say to little me! I'm hurt. No, really, I'm shattered beyond consolation." She narrowed her eyes and poked a finger on Ed's chest, her halo immediately replaced by little red devil horns. "Listen, Elric. Chan and I have no wish to release you for now. I suggest you listen, or you will face severe punishment."

"That sounds wrong," Chan piped up.

"Shut up, Chan! Make out with Al or something!" Sirendipity growled.

"OKAY!"

"Um..." Al's hazel eyes widened in fear. "Doesn't my opinion count in this?"

"Al, Chan won't hurt you! Besides, she has kitties!"

"Titties?" Roy spoke up.

"No, you stupid pervert! KITTIES!" Sirendipity rolled her eyes.

"Kitties that are titties?"

Sirendipity wrote a bucket of water onto Roy's head. Chan looked horrified as they discussed her...uh...'_kitties.'_

"All I wanted was a cat..." Al muttered.

"Well, you'll get one. Just kiss Chan!" Sirendipity wrote in her notebook and Al grabbed a joyful looking Chan, dragging her into a dark corner.

Everyone huddled in another corner, a few resuming their screaming.

"OH, WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?" Chan screamed from her happy corner.

The screamers, yet again, began quaking in fear.

Sirendipity clapped her hands together to gain everyone's, disregarding Al and Chan, attention. "Now...for ze 'Trrruth and Darrrrre'! Ooops! I mean, ze 'Darrree and Darrreee!'"

"Cut the stupid accent," Ed growled.

"Now, ze first dare...Ed must kiss Roy!"

_"WHAT?" _Ed screamed.

Roy put a hand over his heart, or at least the empty space where it should be. "What? God, no! I couldn't! I like women!"

Winry raised her hand.

"Yes?" A writing Sirendipity asked, annoyed.

"Can I leave?"

"Do you want you tools melted?"

Winry had a horrified look on her face. "You...You wouldn't!"

"You really think that?"

Winry was silent as Sirendipity smirked.

"Exactly."

"Er, alright..." Winry muttered. "But one thing: How come only Ed, Al, Roy and I are here? Where is everyone else?"

"Easy. You are the main characters." Sirendipity answered with a 'duh' look on her face.

Ed sighed. "Great. I'm stuck here with Colonel Bastard, a short-tempered automail mechanic, and a hypnotized brother.

"How 'bout I add in Russel?" Sirendipity rolled her eyes.

"NO!"

"Then suck it up before-"

"STOP YELLING!" Chan complained once again.

Sirendipity pushed some invisible buttons and a deep bass came rumbling out of invisible speakers, blocking out all sounds of Chan and Al sucking face, or any other things that were happening in the corner (that will not be mentioned).

Sirendipity pursed her lips. "Okay, the next one to talk unless spoken to..." She brought out a chainsaw and a butterknife from behind her back, no one knowing how the hell she got them. "Well, you can tell, I'm sure."

The cast paled. Winry's blue eyes widened. "Um..." The blonde bit her lip nervously. "Y-You're not actually going to _use _those, are you?" She gestured nervously to the chainsaw and butterknife.

"These?" The authoress laughed, and tossed the oh-so deadly weapons behind her. They disappeared to wherever forgotten items go to. "Of course not! I'll be using _these_!"

The authoress turned behind her and grabbed three items: A carton of milk, a comb and a pink bow.

"Now...for Edward's torture!" She grinned.

The Fullmetal Alchemist paled even more and turned around, ready to run for his life. But little fangirls appeared in a poof of purple, cinnamon scented smoke, and held him down, tying him to a chair. A wall appeared, separating the rest of the cast from Ed and Sirendipity.

* * *

><p>The evil teen turned to a screaming Edward. "No one will hear you here, Elric. I would gag you, but then we wouldn't have much of a use for this, will we?" She shook the milk carton.<p>

"Just you wait!" Ed scowled. Sirendipity walked towards him with the carton.

"Ahhh! No!" He wailed.

The smirking girl then said, "Now, on with the dare!" and teleported Roy inside.

Roy then yelled, "I WILL NOT KISS THIS MAN; I AM NOT GAAAAAY!"

Sirendipity then scribbled in her notebook.

Roy hugged a confused Edward. "I love you, Fullmetal!" Ed wore a very disturbed look on his face. Sirendipity was feeling 'nice' that day, so she decided to put Ed out of his misery.

"I love you too, Roy! Wait...what?"

**~CAUTION: YAOI SCENE~**

***As the authoresses hate yaoi, this scene will be censored. Luckily, this will be going as a rating of T. So no baby making will occur. Sorry, yaoi fangirls! For those of you sick-minded beings that are upset about this, feel free to use your imagination. **

After fifteen minutes of intense kissing, Sirendipity took the spell off. Ed, glaring angrily, turned to her while Roy puked in the corner.

**~END OF YAOI SCENE~**

"You. Will. Die. Very-"

"I don't care."

"Argh! Just let me go already!"

"Nah."

Ed growled menacingly.

"Terrifying."

"Then tell me what's next!"

"Weeeell...since I already made you kiss Roy and drink milk...I shall invite the fangirls to play with your hair!"

* * *

><p>An hour later, Sirendipity thrust Edward out of his torture cell.<p>

"Oh, God, Edward!" Winry gasped and ran up to the white-faced blonde. "What did she _do _to you?

Ed shuddered. "You don't wanna know, Winry..."

"Well, where's Roy?"

"WHO CARES? Let's just grab Al and get the hell out of this place!"

"Er...Al is...still...y-you know..." Winry stammered, shooting nervous glances at the AlxChan corner.

Ed cursed and stomped over to their happy place. He was about to break the wall when he remembered that Sirendipity had took his alchemy away. He growled and pounded his automail fist on the wall.

"Al! Open-"

"QUIET!" Chan hissed.

Edward sighed and turned to his amazing, epic, strong army: Winry.

"Win, you're going to need your tools. We're bustin' out of here."

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that's the end of the first chapter! Poor Edward. I just love making him squirm! *evil crackfic authoress grin* And I'm sure Chan is quite glad about this one, as her dream came true!<strong>

**Chan: Mmmm...Al's lips taste like candy...**

**Sirendipity: O.O Um...and I needed to know that why?"**

**Chan: Mmmmm...**

**Sirendipity: *coughs* Well, I hope you all liked this little collab we wrote! And now, for the second chapter, you, the readers, can submit little truths and dares for the cast to do! However, this will be posted as a rating of T. So, nothing too lemon-y. And besides, everytime someone posts a disgusting dare, Edward has to drink a glass of milk, Al loses a cat, Roy loses one percent of his smexiness, and Winry loses a tool. So, please, think about the poor characters before you post! And besides, the authoresses absolutely refuse to do something too drastic.**

**Chan: And now, without further ado, we present...THE END! **

**Sirendipity and Chan: Bye! **


End file.
